Ok, so this one should make you chuckle, but the reality is, when our kiddos are involve sometimes we forget coaches are actually pretty smart.
1) Thanks for pointing out how great your kid is! You are right, he should have more playing time, I'll change that right now!
2) Wait, you mean I shouldn't call for a play where the QB gets intercepted? Oh! My Bad!
3) Hey man, it's fine to miss practice. No worries, that $10,000 scholarship will be waiting right here for you when you "feel like practicing" again.
4) Hey man you are right, road trips are tough, go ahead, take this week off, your girlfriend needs some quality time.
5) Of COURSE you are going to start after missing 3 days of practice, I wouldn't expect any less of you!
6) Absolutely ma'ma, we are so proud of your son, don't worry about the fact he's failing all his classes, you are right, he WILL make it big in the NFL!
7) Oh, so your saying we should be practicing blocking in practice? Thanks! We will start that tomorrow.
8) Special teams ARE a waste of time, you should be mad your kid only gets to see the college football field during special teams.
And yes, these are the answers floating through my head as I have listened to my husband interact with parents and players this year. :/